We talk a lot about inspiration. Passion. The drive to succeed in life. Wanting for more than what you originally started as. The American dream.
Lately I have been questioning myself. Not what I am capable of. I know I can do anything I put my mind to. I have been questioning my intentions and motivation.
Where do they come from?
Are they as strong as they should be?
What can I do to make myself a better, stronger individual?
Is compassion mistaken for weakness?
How do I stay me while becoming more than I am?
I’ve been questioning what makes me, me.
Our lives are always full of change, positive and negative. The goal is to go through the iterations and come out this more evolved being. I’m speaking mentally but for many that can be a metaphysical statement as well. I would never discount it.
So here’s the thing. We go through shit. It happens. We hate it. But what do we do with it afterwards?
Cry, scream, lament. Do you move on? Do you acknowledge it happened and avow to never let yourself experience again? Or ignore it, push it under the rug… cow down to it?
I would really like to say for myself that I have acknowledged what I needed to. That I’m working on becoming the next, better version of myself.
If I’m not then I’m definitely good at talking the big talk.
At the end of the day I’m not sure who I am… I feel as if I do not have anything special that defines me as an individual. I’m funny, honest, caring. I’m a wife, a daughter, a friend.
But who AM I?
Cook, philosopher, lover, what?
I know I don’t fully have the answer.
But then again… am I supposed to?